What is grief?
The concept of grief describes the emotions and sensations accompanying the loss of someone or something dear. Grief can literally "weigh down" the person who must face the reality of a gut-wrenching loss, taking both a psychological and physical toll on the bereaved person. Complex physiological and psychological responses may be extremely painful but can be overcome if faced and experienced.
You may experience any of the following when you grieve:
- numbness, the sense that none of this is real—you're just imagining it
- expecting your deceased loved one to come back and be able to resume life as usual
- experiencing your loved one communicating with you after death
- difficulty paying attention or remembering things as well as you did before your loss
- a sense of anger, injustice, vexation or helplessness about your situation
- feelings of incredible emptiness, loneliness, self-accusation or despair
- guilt—if only you had done more, been nicer, not left home, etc.
The following are typical physical symptoms of grief:
- difficulty going to sleep, or waking in the middle of the night
- weight loss or gain; over- or under-eating
- low energy or fatigue
- headaches, chest pain or racing heart
- upset stomach or digestive problems
- hair loss
When you understand that grieving people have similar thoughts, feelings and physical sensations, you can be assured that what you are going through is completely normal. For example, mood swings (you feel fine one minute and then all of sudden you burst out crying) need not take you by surprise. What's more, it is entirely possible to have a decrease in symptoms for quite a while and then suddenly experience a ‘relapse' when something reminds you of your loved one—or for no explainable reason at all.