Condolence From: James J Alonzo
Condolence: My Son, my best friend
James J Alonzo (c)
This is hard. Honestly, I don’t know how to begin. I know I should begin by saying that we are here not only to remember, but to honor the life of Derek Vincent Brown.
But where do I begin, do I attempt to tell you all about the man Derek was. There was so much to Derek's life, and so much that I want everyone to know about him.
Derek's life was so full. He had sons, Tyler & Cody, his wife Tiffany, his mother Naomi, aunt Mary, sister Tami, his niece Shaylane and nephew Corbin, and many more than I could mention, that made his life complete and all his friends and family who love him.
Derek was my son, and he called me "pops". Not my biological son, but my son anyway. He was more of a son than my own.
Derek was someone who was always there for me, he was my nephew and brother. I want to share every story about mine and Derek's life as a son, friend, a brother, and what it meant to me to share that memory with him.
Derek was a man who lived for life and lived for others. He was never afraid, he feared no man, and he was brave enough to be the man he felt he should be.
I loved the man that Derek was, and I believe in the things that made Derek the man he was ,, and what we all loved about him. Chivalry, justice, honor, compassion, integrity, determination, love, stubbornness, respect, and heart, are words that describe the man Derek was.
He was loyal to a fault and the words that he spoke rang with the sound of truth, and strength. He was all about goodness and doing what he thought was right for his family and loved ones.
Derek was the type of man that even when faced with danger that would scare many people, he Never stepped back!
Nothing was more important to family than his family. Even the times some of them took advantage of him. Derek would forgive.
Derek learned that a man was responsible for his own actions, for his woman, his children, and his family. And with that responsibility came a lot of heartache but he overcame that and did what needed to be done.
I have known Derek since he was a baby, every other Christmas his father and mother Naomi would bring Tami and Derek to Buffalo, NY. I watched him grow from a little tough sprout to the big man he became.
Another life lesson Derek taught me was simply to enjoy life. And did he ever enjoy life.
The most important thing Derek taught me was how to be a friend. Derek was a good friend to everyone he loved, even those who at times he found impossible to like. He was friends to some simply because he felt that they needed him to be a friend.
Derek would give you gas money, buy you lunch, give you a place to stay if you had nowhere else to go, or even fight a fight,, even when the odds look bad. He was the one that I could always count on. If I needed anything, Derek would do everything he could to help me.
Even though there was geographical miles between us, he would call me almost everyday,
"Hey Pops, how you doing? I love you Pops."
Even listening to me while I vented he would be there no matter what. He did not only do this for me. He did this for his entire family, and if you were his friend you were his family.
As we reflect on our time with Derek we remember what it was we loved about him and what we will miss the most about him.
Even in death Derek has taught me about life. His final lesson was to show the people you love that you have to love them now, because life is too short, to sudden.
People often speak of happiness in tragedy. I never understood this until I witnessed the blessing that came from Derek's tragic end. I know he would want me to be 'Pops' to his sons and wife, to love them as I love Derek.
I owe him so much for what he brought to my life. I think we all owe it to Derek to make sure his memory lives on in us.
At the end of the day I found that it was Dereks heart that gave me the strength to carry on, and ultimately will heal my pain. And I believe that Derek's heart is big enough to heal us all. And it is Dereks heart that has allowed me to deal with what I have had to do so far this year.
People often say the ones left behind are left because they are strong enough to deal with life, but I don’t think this is right. I think Derek is gone because he lived his life the right way. And those of us left behind are here to learn what Derek already knew. I want to thank Derek's family for letting me do this and giving me the honor of celebrating Dereks love with you all.
This is where most might stop. But in honor of how Derek lived his life and for all he taught me, let me say a little more.
In my mind Derek lived life how it was meant to be lived. Derek taught us all how to live, laugh, and love. He played the game of life like one played a game of poker. He played to win and he was never afraid too risk it all for the ultimate reward, love.
I am glad that he took a risk on me and shared the rewards. That is the way he lived his life and he showed it through his actions. Even if he made a mistake, it was okay because he thought it was best at the time, and he did it out of love.
So there are a few things left for me to do today, because it is what Derek would do, and today I am living for Derek.
Derek believed God is not in a book but in our hearts. I am not a preacher like Derek's stepdad-Kirbbie, so I have left the bible quotes to him .
But that doesn’t mean I have not talked about God here today. I spoke of God through words like heart and love. After all, love is God’s greatest gift, and for me that love is Derek, So don’t leave here today empty or sad, but with a heart full of love, forever and always.
. I also leave you with a challenge to find a way to do what my son, did for me today. To try and live for , as Derek lived for all of us.
Great Father, great son, Great Friend, great brother
Forever
Sunday July 13, 2014